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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:50 pm 
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Pulis: Ano ang itsura ng suspek?

Saksi: Naka-orange po siya at dilaw ang buhok.

Artist: (gumuhit) Bossing, hindi natin kayang hulihin ‘to…

Pulis: Bakit?

Artist: Dilaw raw ang buhok at naka-orange… Kung hindi si Naruto, si Son Goku ‘to!
:biglaugh: :biglaugh:

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mga napaimbyerna ni master tarugo at napisti ng todo 1. ryanmikhael 2. bluechip 3. macario 4. superfly 5. pacstorm 6. ric_lois 7. palinang 8. paktol 9. gambol 10. joseph_inc 11. igorot 12. gorio 20/20 13. lytbendah 14. edap ..en da list kuntinyu..hihihi!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:10 pm 
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Sana may magpost dito ng mga kanta na iba yung dugtong...

Examples:

Lead Me Lord.
Make it a better place.
For you and for me and the entire human race.

You know it's you babe, whenever I get weary.
And the strength I need, Please believe that it's true.
Coz heaven knows.

How, how could you say you love me.
When You would go and leave me.
How Could you make me hurt so bad.
Ikaw na lang ang siyang kulang sa buhay kong ito.
Pangarap ko ang ibigin ka.

_________________
Ang salitang tayo ay past tense ng pariralang hindi na tayo...


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 10:50 pm 
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Posts: 12109
Location: SandVille
Tarugo Sensei wrote:
Pulis: Ano ang itsura ng suspek?

Saksi: Naka-orange po siya at dilaw ang buhok.

Artist: (gumuhit) Bossing, hindi natin kayang hulihin ‘to…

Pulis: Bakit?

Artist: Dilaw raw ang buhok at naka-orange… Kung hindi si Naruto, si Son Goku ‘to!
:biglaugh: :biglaugh:

:D

_________________
Kiss the hand of your enemy until you can cut it off!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:02 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:03 am
Posts: 4281
Tarugo Sensei wrote:
Pulis: Ano ang itsura ng suspek?

Saksi: Naka-orange po siya at dilaw ang buhok.

Artist: (gumuhit) Bossing, hindi natin kayang hulihin ‘to…

Pulis: Bakit?

Artist: Dilaw raw ang buhok at naka-orange… Kung hindi si Naruto, si Son Goku ‘to!
:biglaugh: :biglaugh:


Eto dugtong ko dyan....

Rape victim kuno: mamang pulis na raped po ako..

Pulis: nakilala mo ba

Rape victim kuno: hindi po

Pulis: nakita mo ba yung mukha

Rape victim kuno: hindi po

Pulis: hah! Bakit?

Rape victim kuno: naupuan ko po yung mukha eh!.....


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:15 pm 
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Posts: 490
senyorito wrote:
may tatlong babaeng magkaibigan... isang girlfriend, isang kabit, at isang misis.

sabay-sabay silang nag-shopping para sa valentines day outfits nila.

may nakita silang black leather tight fitting na outfit, may maskara, at may boots pa. naisipan nilang pare-parehong bilhin para sorpresahin ang kanilang mga boys.

umuwi ang tatlo na sobrang excited.

next day, nagkita-kita ulit sila sa starbucks...

GIRLFRIEND: grabe, pinapunta ko yung bf ko sa bahay ko. nung nakita niya akong naka-higa sa kama na suot yung binili nating outfit, tinigasan agad siya. kinantot niya ako ng tatlong oras

KABIT: ako naman pinuntahan ko yung jowa ko sa opisina nya. pumasok ako sa banyo ng office nya at nagbihis. paglabas ko, derecho ako sa mesa nya umupo sabay bukaka sa harap nya. libog na libog siya, kinantot niya ako magdamag

tahimik yung misis. tinanong siya nung dalawa kung anong nangyari...

MISIS: t@n#^*#, sinuot ko yung outfit tapos hinintay ko yung asawa kong umuwi. pagpasok niya ng bahay nakita niya akong nakatayo sa harap niya sabay sabi ba naman ng... "hoy batman, anong ulam?"

buhay may asawa nga naman.. :biglaugh:

_________________
“Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art.” - Neil Gaiman


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:57 pm 
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May tatlong batang namboso sa teacher.
nahuli sila at kinuwestiyon

TEACHER: pedro, ano ang nakita mo?
PEDRO: kaliwang suso nyo mam
TEACHER: pwes, suspended ka ng isang linggo. ikaw juan ano nakita mo?

JUAN: dalawang suso nyo mam
TEACHER: suspended ka ng isang buwan. ikaw boy? tumayo at naglalakad na palabas

TEACHER: at saan ka pupunta boy?
BOY: pauwi na mam. sa nakita ko, sure kick-out nako

:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

_________________
mga napaimbyerna ni master tarugo at napisti ng todo 1. ryanmikhael 2. bluechip 3. macario 4. superfly 5. pacstorm 6. ric_lois 7. palinang 8. paktol 9. gambol 10. joseph_inc 11. igorot 12. gorio 20/20 13. lytbendah 14. edap ..en da list kuntinyu..hihihi!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:58 pm 
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JUAN NAHULING NANGONGOPYA..

Teacher: ganyan ka na ba kabobo Juan??!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Juan: Ma'am!! seeking help is not a sign of ignorance.. It's an intellectual act that allows people to admit that some situations are not meant to be handled alone.. It's a reality check!! Did you get my point ma'am?!?!

Teacher: Juan,tagalog lang ang tanong ko.. hindi ka naman mabiro.. hala cge,, ituloy mo lang yan.. wag ka lng magpapahuli ahh..

:lol: :lol:

_________________
mga napaimbyerna ni master tarugo at napisti ng todo 1. ryanmikhael 2. bluechip 3. macario 4. superfly 5. pacstorm 6. ric_lois 7. palinang 8. paktol 9. gambol 10. joseph_inc 11. igorot 12. gorio 20/20 13. lytbendah 14. edap ..en da list kuntinyu..hihihi!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:24 am
Posts: 5121
Location: SM Cinema
Tarugo Sensei wrote:
May tatlong batang namboso sa teacher.
nahuli sila at kinuwestiyon

TEACHER: pedro, ano ang nakita mo?
PEDRO: kaliwang suso nyo mam
TEACHER: pwes, suspended ka ng isang linggo. ikaw juan ano nakita mo?

JUAN: dalawang suso nyo mam
TEACHER: suspended ka ng isang buwan. ikaw boy? tumayo at naglalakad na palabas

TEACHER: at saan ka pupunta boy?
BOY: pauwi na mam. sa nakita ko, sure kick-out nako

:biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:


alam na :lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:54 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:24 am
Posts: 5121
Location: SM Cinema
Tarugo Sensei wrote:
ANG DEDE.. BOW!!

babae sa dyip merong batang dala

babae: (galit) Ayaw mong dumede? Ibibigay ko 'to sa lalaking katabi ko

20mins na pero ayaw pa din dumede..

babae: (lalong nagalit) ayaw mo talagang dumede ha.. ibibigay ko talaga ‘to sa lalaking katabi ko!

Lalaki: Mam, magdesisyon na kayo…dapat kanina pa ko bumaba eh.

:biglaugh: :biglaugh:


:lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:56 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:24 am
Posts: 5121
Location: SM Cinema
Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday
bilang katulong sa Maynila.

Habang ini-interview ng amo.....

Amo: Kailangan namin ng katulong para mag-linis ng bahay,
Magluto, maglaba, mamalantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay sa mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng
ito?

Inday: I believe that my acquired skills, training and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want done. My creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcome I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [Nagdugo ang ilong.]

Makaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang may bukol si Junior.

Amo: Inday, bakit may bukol si Junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural
design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [Nagdugo ulit ang ilong.]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan....

Amo: Inday, bakit naman maalat ang ulam natin?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [Nagdugo na naman ang ilong.]

Donya: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nararatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Donya: [Hinimatay.]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si Junior sa Principal's office dahil hindi makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni Junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict an injury to anyone. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids in this educational institution. Your policies need revision because they suck!

Principal: [Nagbitiw sa tungkulin.]

Pagdating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred, wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris is scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast, causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: [Nagdugo na naman ang ilong.]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si Junior.

Inday: Stop your rambunctious behavior! It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens, there will be the corresponding corporal punishment to be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [Takbo sa CR, para hugasan ang nagdudugong ilong.]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nasa balita na umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya siya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know instinctively that things will get worse if they stay. Leaving can be very tough, and it's even harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [Binalunguyngoy na naman. Takbo ulit sa CR.]

Nung gabing yon, may nag-text kay inday--si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gustong makipagtext-mate..

Biday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unequivocal reply to your request - Irrevocable denial.

Di naglaon, dahil sa tiyaga ni Dodong, naging girlfriend niya rin si inday.

Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si inday kay Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you made the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of, however. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken....

I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofore, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself!

May dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan nina Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (kay inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you think are just nothing because someday you will realize that the one you gave away was the very thing you had been wishing for to stay..

UPDATE.

Narinig ng amo ni inday ang lahat-lahat.

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng inggles, sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko, palalayasin ko sa pamamahay na ito!

Inday: Ang namutawi sa inyong bibig ay mataman kong ilalagak as kasuluk-sulukan ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, at palagi kong gugunam- gunamin.

Sakbibi ng madlang lumbay kung mapapalis sa gunita yaring inyong tinuran..

Amo: Leche! Hindi kami sinauna! Yung makabagong wika at salita ang gusto kong gagamitin dito sa bahay ko!!

Inday: Tarush! Pachenes pa 'tong chorva eklavubo chuva tabayishki kun suplandish!

Nyahaha HANDS UP me sayo manang inday nyahahaha!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 12:03 am
Posts: 12784
Location: rehavia
thedarkdragon11 wrote:
Sana may magpost dito ng mga kanta na iba yung dugtong...

Examples:

Lead Me Lord.
Make it a better place.
For you and for me and the entire human race.

You know it's you babe, whenever I get weary.
And the strength I need, Please believe that it's true.
Coz heaven knows.

How, how could you say you love me.
When You would go and leave me.
How Could you make me hurt so bad.
Ikaw na lang ang siyang kulang sa buhay kong ito.
Pangarap ko ang ibigin ka.


ave maria
oh my love
my own
my native land
Philippines my Philippines

:lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
“It is important for me to see myself on the same level with the ordinary people. Once I see myself higher than them, that will be my downfall"

-The Vice President


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2015 3:33 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 03, 2008 10:06 am
Posts: 26588
Location: neverland
antatsapaks wrote:
Boy Pick-up asked Noynoy: Floyd Mayweather ka ba?
PNoy: Bakit?
Boy Pick-up: PURO KA DALDAL EH.
BOOOOOM!




:biglaugh:


wer na u antats?

:lol: :lol:

_________________
why suffer to buy expensive stuffs when the best things in life are done naked?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 7:49 am 
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A plane was about to crash in Tacloban; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Aquino, the chosen one. The Philippines needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Mar Roxas, said, "I am the next president of the Philippines, so Filipinos don't want me to die." He took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, Dinky Soliman, said, "I'm the Secretary of DSWD, a lot of people depend on me." So she grabbed the parachute next to her and jumped.

The fourth passenger, Mayor Duterte, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The Boy said, "That's okay, Mayor. There's a parachute left for you. President Aquino grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."


HAHA.!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
why suffer to buy expensive stuffs when the best things in life are done naked?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:22 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 11:42 am
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Romy Nabas wrote:
A plane was about to crash in Tacloban; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Aquino, the chosen one. The Philippines needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Mar Roxas, said, "I am the next president of the Philippines, so Filipinos don't want me to die." He took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, Dinky Soliman, said, "I'm the Secretary of DSWD, a lot of people depend on me." So she grabbed the parachute next to her and jumped.

The fourth passenger, Mayor Duterte, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The Boy said, "That's okay, Mayor. There's a parachute left for you. President Aquino grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."


HAHA.!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:21 am 
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Posts: 21070
Location: ESCALANTE CITY
:lol: :shock: :lol:


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