[GOD] Emmanuel “Manny” “Pacman” Dapidran Pacquiao, WE HAVE TO TALK. Right now. I’m so busy being in charge of everything, even when that leaf on your guava tree is going to fall, there’s not enough days in the week, I tell you.
[PACQUIAO] Don’t you get Sunday off?
Theoretically. But with all the sacraments I must…enough about me. I’m here to give you a piece of my mind!
Sir Lord, is it really you?
Who else makes a cloudy entrance with angels blowing trumpets in the background?
See. That’s why you need talking to. Your head is now filled glitter and glamour. You’ve been palling around with the wrong crowd. Paris Hilton? Who’s next, Snooki, Kim Kardashian?
Is that why I’m not sure if people still like me? Even the BIR is harassing me.
Manny, you simply must give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. But you’ve been giving to the wrong Caesar.
Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Lord. Even Jinkee got mad.
Exactly. Quit gambling. And Saint Peter is complaining that you go through roosters like there’s no tomorrow. Enough of the cockfights, okay?
Don’t be angry, Lord. I always pray to you to give me strength and power.
Yeah, yeah, so you can beat the other fellow to a bloody pulp—and have I denied you?
Just 3 times out of 54.
Well, I’m tired of doing you that favor, you hear. You boxers always put me in a terrible bind. All of you pray for victory, make the Sign of the Cross and point to heaven before the bell rings. What am I supposed to do? When I side with one, the other guy gets mauled. I want you to stop this violent business. It’s harmful.
Wellll. I don’t know if…
Suit yourself. But if you keep hurting people you’ll end up forever in YOU-KNOW-WHERE with that loudmouth Senator Santiago.
Lord, I see the light! I see it now!
Clean up your act. Be a good, kind leader among your brethren.
Yes, Lord. No more parties with celebs and chicks. No more singing sexy Lionel Ritchie and Kenny Rogers song hits. I will master the Bible. That’s all I’m going to read and say to people.
Susmaryosep, Manny, I’m not asking you to be b-o-o-o-ring. Just be a good man like when you started ou…
I will be a preacher with my own El Shaddai. I will remain in politics to guide my people, have a big voting bloc…
Oy vey. What have I done now? Wait, hold it…
I will be like that very religious Rick Santorum who may be president of America. According to “Real Time” host Bill Maher, Santorum believes life begins at erection. I’ll be like that…no to the RH bill!
Listen, I’ll be back to clear up what I mean, okay? But now I must go to finish some work. I have to help a new bird fly, ask **** Cheney to meet me for judgment—or maybe I’ll postpone that one–make a certain Rene in San Francisco win the lottery… I’ll be back.
Then I’ll be president, yes. Lord…Lord, why do you look like my wife?
Hoy! Who are you talking to there? Gising!
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